::COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY::

Image

Last week I decided to go for a quick jog. It had been a while since my last run, but even though it was a rainy day, I felt like my body longed for a well-deserved exercise. I noticed that my endurance wasn’t what it used to be, but hey, I was doing my best! After 45 minutes I could see my house appear in the distance and I was about to finish my run. I smiled with self-fulfillment and decided to increase my pace to the finish line at home.

But then, out of nowhere came superwoman or “super mommy” so to speak. She pushed a stroller (with twins!) while running past me like a gazelle. Her legs must have been light as feathers, because she past me without a single drop of sweat! OMG woman, are you serious?! I though. In one split second my runners high evaporated in the air.

When I returned home, I realized that it is in our human nature to compare ourselves to others. Comparing yourself to other’s can be both inspiring and motivating. But when this comparison turns into jealousy, having less self-esteem, feeling frustrated etc. it might be time to snap out of it and give yourself a break.

Yes, we live in a competitive society with high expectations. We not only expect a lot from ourselves but also from others. We’re fighting to get the best job, we want to have cutting-edge gadgets, wear cool outfits, travel to faraway places and share the latest news before anyone else beats you to it.

Don’t we all know that wanting more stuff, wanting more money, wanting more parties and friends than the person next to you, is not the key to happiness? Will Smith was right when he said:

“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.”

The truth is: there will always be someone “better” than you (smarter, taller, skinnier, faster, and richer) but, there will always be someone “worse” than you (fatter, shorter, slower, and poorer). Let’s just focus on ourselves instead!

Want to give yourself a comparison break? Below you’ll find a list of 10 things you should focus on instead:

  • Think positive (you won’t create a positive life with a negative mind)
  • Stay true to yourself
  • Know your values (see blog post 24th June)
  • Celebrate your strengths
  • Surround yourself with those people who inspire you
  • Learn from your mistakes (you’re only human)
  • Know when “good” is good enough!
  • Get on your own side (cheer yourself on)
  • Improve yourself one step at a time
  • Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle

Image

Advertisements

::TO SHARE OR NOT TO SHARE?::

do not covet ideas

Motivational author and Saatchi & Saatchi’s Creative Director legend, Paul Arden suggests that you’re alot better off by freeing your ideas and staying hungry for new ones. “Do not covet your ideas. Give away everything you know and more will come back to you” is the title ripped directly from his must-read book It’s Not How Good You Are, It’s How Good You Want To Be.

“You will remember from school other students preventing you from seeing their answers by placing their arm around their exercise book or exam paper.

It is the same at work, people are secretive with ideas. ‘Don’t tell them that, they’ll take credit for it.’

The problem with hoarding is that you end up living off your reserves. Eventually you’ll become stale.

If you give away everything you have, you’re left with nothing. This forces you to look, to be aware, to replenish.

Somehow, the more you give away, the more comes back to you.

Ideas are open knowledge. Don’t claim ownership.

They’re not your ideas anyway, they’re someone else’s. They are out there floating in the ether.

You just have to put yourself in a frame of mind to pick them up.” Paul Arden

the hoarder

Have you ever been astonished by those who’d rather covet their ideas? In a time of mass/instant communication it does seem silly to hoard ideas when they could be brought to fruition. Feel free to express your thoughts on the quote.

::LOSE YOUR JOB, BUT FIND YOURSELF + YOUR VALUES::

Image

We all face difficult decisions and life always finds a way to throw circumstances at us, which test our patience, our character and our peace of mind.

Let’s take today’s crisis for example. Many of us have lost our jobs and face a time of uncertainty. But what if we use this time as an opportunity to reflect, get to know ourselves, figure out what drives us and reassess our priorities? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to set priorities that lead to happiness? By setting your true life values, you are able to focus on what’s really important to you.

Now let’s look at the story of John:

Ever since the day John lost his job, his goal has been to find a job ASAP. He spent day after day applying for jobs and had many sleepless nights feeling frustrated about the situation. He completely forgot about the world around him, because he wasn’t allowing himself to have fun. As weeks went by and piles of rejections followed, John finally realized that he wasn’t acting or feeling like himself anymore, he felt stressed and uncomfortable. He completely forgot to have fun, he forgot to relax and he even forgot to socialize with family and friends. John’s job hunt gave him tunnel vision and he lost track of his true life values.

It is not surprising that John felt this way. When your behavior doesn’t match your values, you begin to sense an uneasiness that slowly grows inside you. This uncomfortable feeling tells you that something in your life is off and you feel out-of-touch with yourself. These feelings can be the source of your anxiety and unhappiness.

But when your actions and words do align with your values, life is generally good and you feel content, confident and satisfied – even in the middle of a job hunt, sticking to your values can make life easier.

If you are eager to change your jobless situation, you have to realize that besides doing the best you can to find that job, the economy is not something you can control. So, what if you tried to change the strategy in which you deal with the situation?

When you know your life values, you will know what your motives are; the “why” behind your actions. Your values will serve as a compass in your life. And if you learn to live from your values ​​instead of achieving concrete goals, you’ll feel more in control of all the situations that life throws at you.

So, here is a simple exercise for you!

Below you’ll find a sample list of values.(I am sure there are more detailed lists/tests that can be found online)

1. Copy the list

2. Mark the values which most resonate with you

3. Sort your list in order of priority

As you scan the values list below, you may find that while most values have little or no significance to, there are those values that just jump out and call to you, and you feel, “Yes, this value is part of me.”

Image

This values list is merely a quick guide to the exercise, so feel free to add unlisted values to your own list and elaborate as to why this value is important to you.

Good luck, have fun and feel free to share your values with our readers!

::EVERY END IS A NEW BEGINNING::

every_end_is_a_new_beginning by LifeLotus

Beginnings

Life is full of beginnings and even though we might not know where a new beginning will lead us, they are exciting!

There is the moment you were born, the beginning of kindergarten and the beginning of making new friends. Then there is the beginning of living on your own after fleeing the parental nest, the beginning of a relationship, the beginning of going to university and the beginning of your first job. There is also the beginning of marriage, the beginning of buying a home and perhaps the beginning of starting your own family.

New beginnings are the start of something new. It is the start of a new adventure and you will only learn through experience. New beginnings bring a tremendous amount of joy, excitement and motivation and can last for a short or long time or even feel timeless. It’s simply a matter of following the journey life throws at you.

Ends

Then there are ends, because one way or another, beginnings will end. There is the end of raising kids when they move out. There is the end of a friendship or marriage. And with today’s economic climate, leaving the marketplace spinning with pressure of severe change, there is the end of a career when losing your job.

Emotions

So, what happens when a journey comes to an end when we least expect it? What happens when we are forced to pause at a sudden stop sign? We often become overwhelmed by our emotions. Hello?! We aren’t ready for a new beginning just like that! We are left feeling disappointed or sad. We might be confused as to which way to turn and we might be angry towards the entire situation.

Acceptance

Yet once we go through the motions of mourning (and yes, this may take days, weeks or even months and a whole lot of patience) it is time to move forward. Only then are we able to accept endings and adapt to changes. We are able to look back, reflect and learn, while having hope for a new beginning.

LifeLotus.wordpress

From hopeless to hopeful

There comes a day where we wake up and everything will feel much clearer again. There comes a day when you realize you can’t start the next chapter in your life if you keep re-reading the last one! Suddenly it becomes clear as to which direction to choose, it may not be the one you had envisioned or dreamed of, it may be a little scary, but you have become hopeful and ready to embrace a new chapter in your life. You will feel the joy of happiness you felt before and know that you have the power to change your life into something you want.

 

And as cheesy as it may sound, on those days I hear Johnny Nash singing in my ear:

“I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.”

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: